The stress, the frustration, the anxiety you feel right now, is not you.

It comes from your brain.

Whenever your brain resists what has, is, or may happen, it releases those chemicals which you experience as stress, frustration, anxiety, etc.

And if your brain is like my brain, it resists alot.

There is only one thing that your brain resists and that is the threat of losing value, because it is biologically designed to protect you.

It is also misguided.

It can misinterpret things.

It can hold you back from opportunities.

It can make you feel unsure of yourself so you won’t take chances.

And you suffer as a consequence.

And there is only one question your brain has when it feels a threat to your self value. That is “How do I get out of this?”

But if your brain is stressing over that, then that’s not a question for your brain to answer. It’s a question for your Pathfinder.

You can help your brain by coaching it to practice turning inwards to your Pathfinder.

Because at the deeper level of your better-informed non-conscious self, your Pathfinder, you have the guidance your brain needs to find fulfillment for any situation, problem, or goal.

But to effectively coach your brain, you have to put some distance between it and yourself.

This is not difficult. You do it naturally when you say to yourself something like, “You can do this!”

But instead of talking to ‘yourself,’ you talk to your brain, as if it were a person.

This is ‘personifying’ your brain. It is a very powerful tool in establishing a relationship.

That’s why Amazon and Apple have personified their voice recognition software as Alexa and Siri.

In TPQ I use ‘Dobbie’ as a generic name for your brain. You can use that or choose another if that works better for you.

I like ‘Dobbie’ because, for me, it sounds like a well meaning ‘person’ who would be loyal, perhaps over protective, often fearful for your safety, definitely misguided at times.

You need to be able to like and feel compassion for this characterization, or avatar, of your brain, if you are going to help yourself by helping him (her).

Now you are ready to use TPQ.


Pause, Ask, & Receive

(Note: I am presenting this protocol in detail here. In practice, once you have learnt it, it will be much faster and you may choose to skip parts.)


When you feel upset, overwhelmed, unsure, etc., you can instantly change that by Reframing and Refocusing.

To respond to something like...

“I am so stressed out right now, I don’t know which way to turn!” Reframe with something like:

“Hey Dobbie, I get that you’re feeling lost here, and don’t know how best to proceed.”

That helps Dobbie step outside the vortex of his  ruminations for a moment so he’s not being pulled under by them.

And in that momentary pause you Refocus Dobbie’s attention by saying something like this:

“Let’s see how Pathfinder can help.”

There are lot’s of situations that Dobbie is perfectly able to handle.

But when you feel Dobbie’s anxiety in your body, you remind him that he (she) can and should feel free to turn to Pathfinder for help.

And because Dobbie has no idea what Pathfinder is going to do, you are employing the natural power of curiosity to organically shift Dobbie’s focus.


Now you ask The Pathfinder’s Question:

“Pathfinder, where is the best path forward here?”


Receive without expectation

You don’t know what form Pathfinder’s help will take.

Many times it will be guidance. You’ll get an insight, inspiration, or an impulse to do something and that will make Dobbie feel better.

Sometimes you will just notice a shift, an improvement, in how Dobbie feels, without any reason.

Sometimes, as you watch what happens, you’ll notice that things seem to arrange themselves so that everything works out.

Or you may suddenly find a serendipitous opportunity presents itself.

Receive with acknowledgement

Always acknowledge Dobbie’s effort here. Congratulate him (her) on it.

Receive with gratitude

Always thank Pathfinder for whatever you get.

Congratulating Dobbie and thanking Pathfinder increases the perceived value of this new behavior pattern and imprints this new neural pathway more deeply.

Pause, Ask, Receive

Here’s how the TPQ Protocol might work:

Say you are standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus that takes you to work.

You notice you are worrying about whether you have enough left on your bus pass to pay for the ride.

You can feel that anxiety building in your body.

First you PAUSE by reframing it something like this:

“I get that you’re worried about how to handle this Dobbie.”

Then you refocus Dobbie by adding,

“Let’s see what Pathfinder can do.”

Then you ASK

“Pathfinder, where is our best path forward here?”

Then you RECEIVE without Expectation.

You might get a thought:

It could be an inspiration or insight that levels up your fulfillment.

Maybe you remember that you have a brand new bus pass in your coat pocket.

You might get a feeling:

It could be an impulse to action, or a shift from concern to confidence.

Maybe, although nothing external changes, you just no longer feel worried about what happens when you get on the bus.

You might get a prompt to just watch how events unfold.

There may be no new thought or feeling so you watch what happens next.

So you watch as the bus arrives. You watch as you get on. You watch as you put the bus pass in the machine. You watch as it comes up empty. And then you hear the bus driver saying, “Don’t worry about it,” and motioning you to go ahead and sit down.

Boom! Dobbie feels much better! And you benefit from that.

You receive with Acknowledgement: “Good job, Dobbie!”

You receive with Gratitude: “Thank you Pathfinder!”


There isn’t an aspect of your life that couldn’t be leveled up by applying TPQ: relationships, health, finances, career, personal interests.

And no one, no therapist, no teacher, knows better what would work best for you, for your personality, body, situation, than your own non-conscious mind.

As your coach, my only function is to help you use TPQ to get your own answers. My mission is to return you to the authority of your own self.

I offer:

Free Style Coaching

I offer ‘free style’ coaching in THE SOURCE, a private, by invitation only Facebook page. You post and I reply. ($18.99 mth)

Personal Coaching

Private coaching, one-on-one, in Zoom sessions. ($480 for 4 - 50 min consecutive weekly sessions)


A small group TPQ Basics workshop at your location. ($1000 plus expenses base rate)

Text me to book a coaching solution that works for you: 914*275*8238

Copyright 2022 by Peter M Fellows. All Rights Reserved.

TPQ - The Pathfinder’s Question

A New American Mindfulness Application

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Pause, Ask, & Receive