INTRODUCING SOMEONE TO PATHFINDING
After your friend, the Journeyer, has told you all about how much of a failure she feels, overwhelmed by demands in her personal and work life, you want to help empower her by saying something like these three things:
1. “It’s not you. I know it feels like it’s you who is stressed out (and what you are feeling is real), but it’s not you.
It’s the way your brain happened to get wired as you grew up. That’s why other people you see in similar circumstances don’t feel as stressed out as you do. They’re no better than you, their brain just got wired differently.
2. What if there was a simple mental hack that could help your brain heal?
What if you could use this hack to coach your brain so that, no matter what happens, instead of stressing you out, it automatically looks for the best way to find you a feeling of fulfillment?
3. Would you be curious to see what happens if you tried this hack, Pathfinding, for your specific challenge, right now?
Because, research suggests, supposedly, that at a non-conscious level, we know exactly what to do to level up our fulfillment for any situation, problem, or goal.
And, if your friend is interested, here’s what you guide your friend, the Journeyer, to do:
You open a Pathfinding session by asking the Journeyer to STOP for one moment and ask one question
Step back from the noise.
(Imagine stepping back from the noise - inside their head, outside in the World - in whatever way makes sense to them.)
Take a deeper breath, and then just let go.
(Doesn’t have to be a huge breath, just deeper than normal. Then let go of the breath, jaw, shoulders, seat and stomach.
(They can do this step more than once if needed.)
Observe what Pilot gives you when you ask: “How can we increase fulfillment here?”
(This question is addressed to Pathfinder by the Journeyer and Pilot.
(Pilot is conditioned to try to answer this on her/his own based upon her/his conditioned threat assessment thinking.
(In Pathfinding the Journeyer is coaching Pilot to do nothing here other than wait for, and observe Pathfinder’s guidance.)
Process the first thing that comes up.
(Because of Pilot’s conditioning, s/he may answer instead of looking for Pathfinder’s guidance.
(You can’t know what will come up - a fear, a criticism, an urge to do something else.
(Coach the Journeyer to help Pilot notice the first thing that comes up, without judgment by acknowledging it.
(The Journeyer acknowledges what comes up by saying to Pilot, “Okay, that came up. What feeling does that thought give you?”
(If the feeling the thought gives you is uncomfortable in anyway, that’s okay.
(Every thought has value. Each thought is a step towards Pilot learning to reconnect to Pathfinder’s guidance and find the Journeyer’s most fulfilling path forward.
(A thought that gives Pilot an uncomfortable feeling is just from Pilot’s old conditioned thinking kicking into place. Instead of taking the neural path to look for Pathfinder’s guidance s/he defaulted to the old neural path.
(When what comes up gives Pilot an uncomfortable feeling, have the Journeyer say to Pilot, “That’s cool. What else comes up when you ask how can we increase fulfillment here?”
(‘Negative’ thoughts or feelings are no problem. They are like a rain cloud passing through the sky of your mind.
(Pilot holding onto them, dwelling on them, is what causes stress. As Pilot’s coach, the Journeyer interrupts Pilot if s/he gets attached to any thought that comes up. ““That’s cool. What else comes up when you ask how can we increase fulfillment here?”
(And you repeat this process until what comes up gives Pilot a good feeling or until the Journeyer chooses to close the session.)
What might come up from Pathfinder?
Every person is unique, so I don’t know what your Journeyer or you is going to come up with.
It might be an empowering insight, inspiration, intuition, or impulse to take action.
It might be a physical sensation, or some imagery.
Sometimes there is a little bit of a delayed reaction. lt will be like when you try to remember where you left the Discover magazine you were reading, and try as you might, you can't remember.
Then, moments later, as you are walking to the refrigerator to get a drink of cold water - boom - you remember you left the magazine in the bathroom.
Here’s the key:
When what comes up gives Pilot an uncomfortable feeling, continue Pathfinding.
So if what comes up is that you should ask your Uncle for a job and you have been avoiding that because you are embarrassed and feel he would hold that over you -
Those uncomfortable feelings are from Pilot’s conditioned thinking.
Pathfinding will empower you with the inner resources you need to find your most fulfilling path forward.
In this example, it might be an alternate step, or it might be an unexpected sense of calm, confidence that arises, dispelling all anxiety.
We can’t know.
We are not in the business of solving problems for people.
We are in the business of reconnecting their brain to their own problem solver, Pathfinder.
I get that this short summary of how to use Pathfinding may not be enough.
That’s why I am writing the book.
And even that might not be enough (although with your help, it might be - sign up for the email on this page ).
That’s why I have the online community, The Source.
If you want to be a part of this, hang out with me or whoever shows up at any given time, share Pathfinding experiences, join me at The Source and help me build this online community.
Start anytime. Stop anytime.